LOS ANGELES (LALATE) – Chef Bernie Guzman, Adrienne Maloof’s chef, is not on BravoTV.com. But if Andy Cohen was smart, Chef Bernie Guzman should be added right away. If you thought Jeff Lewis is funny when he is missing the required number of salsas for his El Pollo Loco meals, Chef Bernie Guzman on Facebook.com gives jaw dropping “rants” and scalding hot hilarious jabs at RHOBH cast members. While Chef Bernie is often seen fuming with Lisa Vanderpump, on Facebook Bernie reveals his shocking dashes for the women as well.

What does Chef Bernie think of Kyle Richards? Chef Bernie calls Kyle Richards the Brenda Walsh of RHOBH. “The ladies continued their trip back in time to Beverly Hills High with Kyle playing the real-life all grown up Brenda Walsh, and Kim as her sidekick, and poor Brandi the victim of all… their immaturity.”

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Chef Bernie says Lisa practiced her rant for Brandi by stuffing a chicken first. “I guess Lisa was practicing for her treatment of Brandi later on!” Bernie calls Teresa Giudice the Jersey version of Lisa. He adds “Lisa Vanderpump doesn’t know how to cook! Unless she’s “stirring the pot of trouble.”

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Bernie also has crazy jokes. “I worked all day and late last night for a party given by a plastic surgeon. The guests had no expression.”

So is gold is returning to RHOBH meals later this season? Apparently not; there is a shortage of it in Beverly Hills. “They also ran out of 24 k edible gold dust & 24k edible gold stars!”

Lisa suggests on BravoTV.com that Bernie is friends with Cedric. “I had no idea her chef would show up, and also I was clueless of the fact that he had been so vile about me. I don’t think I had ever really spoken to him, having only ever been to dinner there once. ” She adds “I now know he is friendly with our ex houseguest. . .even so I would never have somebody who works for me, publicly trash a friend of mine. It just wouldn’t happen, and I have to say it was very hurtful.”

Ironically, Lisa recently revealed on Facebook to fans the recipe behind her famous potato salad (shown in the Pandora engagement announcement episode). The delicious recipe was a huge hit for fans. No word if Chef Bernie has tried it.