NEW YORK (LALATE) – The missing cobra from the Bronx Zoo has been found, on Twitter. The deadly Egyptian cobra that carries dangerous venom has become the Tiger blood hit of Twitter this week, spawning more faux Twitter profiles than Charlie Sheen goddesses.

But in a news statement today, the Bronx Zoo admits they have a plan how to catch the deadly cobra. “[I]t’s just like fishing.” Fishing?

While the situation is of concern, the comments from Zoo officials are ripe for late night chatter. Zoo officials call it now a “a snake’s game. At this point, it’s just like fishing; you put the hook in the water and wait. Our best strategy is patience, allowing her time to come out of hiding.”

And if the cobra doesn’t? Zoo officials aren’t so sure where “she” is off to next.

Some comics are shaking their rattle at the dilemma. “An Egyptian cobra has escaped and is hiding in the Bronx zoo,” said Steve Martin today. “I’m sitting in my King Tut hat by the phone awaiting their call for help.”

If the cobra finds you, and bites you, you will die in fifteen minutes. But don’t worry, says Zoo officials. They say that the cobra, a whopping twenty inches long, doesn’t venture into open areas. In a news statement today, the Zoo identifies the cobra, not by name, by indicates it’s a female and “an adolescent”.

Jim Breheny, Zoo Director, said to news today that, while we can die from a cobra bite, we need to first understand snakes … in the snake game.

“To understand the situation, you have to understand snakes.. Upon leaving its enclosure, the snake would feel vulnerable and seek out a place to hide and feel safe. When the snake gets hungry or thirsty, it will start to move around the building. Once that happens, it will be our best opportunity to recover it.”

“The holding areas of the reptile house are extremely complex environments with pumps, motors and other mechanical systems,” Mr. Breheny added. “In this complex environment, she will likely remain in hiding and not move until she feels completely secure. As her comfort level rises, she will begin to move around the building to seek food and water.”

It remains unclear who would follow a Cobra, online or off. But the fake Cobra disputes reports from the Zoo, joking “Want to clear up a misconception, I’m not poisonous as has been reported. I’m venomous. Super venomous, but not poisonous so don’t worry.” Plans for a Missing Cobra-App have not been announced.

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LOS ANGELES (LALATE) – A Matt Painter Mizzou deal was not reached Monday, despite initial erroneous reports. Is Matt Painter Mizzou’s new head coach for men’s basketball? That was the assertion earlier Monday; but late today, that report was widely refuted.

Early Monday, Dick Weiss of the New York Daily News reported “Matt Painter [heading] to Missouri [for] 7 yrs 14 million”. Such is not the case. While no deal was reached Monday, Painter will meet with Missouri representatives sometime this week, confirms Mike DeArmond of The Star.

Insiders have long thought Missouri would pursue the Purdue Coach for the job. On Monday morning, The Star was able to report that Missouri did contact Painter or agent Buddy Baker.

How much will Painter potentially get offered? Jeff Rabjohns reports a possible price tag would be in excess of $2 million annually. Like other reports, Rabjohns indicates that the Painter Missouri meeting will be this week and that no deal has been reached or even discussed.

FOX’s Jeff Goodman also called Mondays’ reports of the deal as false. “Not sure what you are talking about, but I said this thing with Painter and Missouri was NOT done” tweeted Goodman today.

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SANTA MONICA (LALATE) – Charlie Sheen’s legal dispute with Warner Bros and Chuck Lorre took a major turn today concerning Sheen’s critical arbitration provision. Charlie Sheen was not in Court today but he was represented before Honorable Judge Goodman by Marty Singer.

Singer brought two critical motions on Ex Parte Monday – (1) a motion to stay arbitration and (2) a motion to obtain the deposition of Jody Zucker, Senior Vice President and General Counsel of Warner Bros. Television.

Before a packed house, the fifteen minute Ex Parte became exceptionally heated at some points with Munger Tolles & Olson appearing on behalf of Warner Brothers and Howard Weitzman appearing on behalf of Chuck Lorre.

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First, Singer brought an Ex Parte motion to stay arbitration. “You should make a determination if this goes to arbitration” Singer told the Court. Warner Brothers objected to the motion, prompting Singer to respond “This case was filed 2 1/2 weeks ago. No motion …was filed [by Warner Brothers] since then.”

Counsel for Warner Brothers said “our motion must be granted to compel submission to the arbitration provision.” Singer was displeased. Singer asked the court to “select a hearing date [on the Court’s motion to stay arbitration] before there is any ruling by an arbitrator.”

The Court set a critical April 19, 2011 hearing date to decide the motion to stay arbitration. Goodman instructed plaintiff and defense counsels to fully brief whether Charlie Sheen’s arbitration should be stayed (halted) based upon new case law.

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Second, Singer asked the Court permission to depose Jody Zucker as to one particular issue, namely has Warner Brothers ever allowed any talent to ever negotiate against their arbitration provision. Singer’s argument was persuasive.

Singer told the court that Sheen will argue “the unconscionability of the [Warner Brothers] arbitration provision.” Singe said “One of the issues is procedural unconscionability…Is the contract unconscionable based upon a take it or leave arbitration provision?.. I want a short deposition of Jody Zucker … less than 2 hours … just dealing with the procedural unconscionability.”

Singer may have revealed essential cards that Sheen might be holding in his pocket. Sheen is attempting to take the deposition of Zucker to prove plaintiff’s assertion that Warner Brothers allegedly has a take-it-or-leave-it arbitration provision with all its talent, that talent has allegedly never been able to bargain against the arbitration provision, that Sheen was put allegedly into the same situation during his contract negotiations, and that the provision hence is improper. If the contract is plagued by unconscionability, it appears that Sheen will argue the matter may not go to arbitration and instead must be decided by Los Angeles Superior Court.

As to this motion, the Court said it would rule in the coming days.

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LOS ANGELES (LALATE) – The tsunami warning system for Japan is increasing its diligence as earthquakes continue to strike the region. The Japan Meteorological Agency issued a tsunami warning Sunday that was thereafter canceled after an initially reported 6.5 earthquake was downgraded to 6.1 magnitude. For local residents, international observers, and world news, the Agency has maintained its diligence as earthquakes continue to impact the eastern coast of Japan.

At 7:27 AM local time today, the Miyagi-ken Oki region of Japan went under tsunami watch again. Two minutes later, a news report of high tide and estimated tsunami arrival was dispatched. But ninety minutes later the alert was canceled.

The diligence of the Agency (located here) escalated after March 11’s deadly tsunami. But today’s warning was the first to strike the region since 48 hours after the March 11 attack. “Tsunamis are expected to arrive imminently in the following coastal regions of Japan” indicated the news statement by the Agency today. “Tsunami height is expected to be about 0.5 meters. Attention advised.”

Mapping provided by the Agency indicated a sliding scale of major tsunami (height more than 3 meters), tsunami (about 2 meters), and advisory concerns (.5 meter). Today’s warning concerned the lowest level, indicating an epicenter of the 6.1 quake just east of the alerted region. The alert, however, was specific to news about the level of concern, stating that “no tsunami damage is expected in those coastal regions.” Officials warned of high tide and wave height variations.

Ninety minutes later the alert / advisories were canceled. “No Tsunami Warnings and Advisories are currently in effect.”

In addition to the nearly two dozen tsunami alerts issued on March 11, the Agency also informed news and residents of over a dozen alerts just two days earlier on March 9.

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LOS ANGELES (LALATE) – Is Robert Gibbs becoming Facebook’s next “senior communications official”? Reports claim Robert Gibbs will become Facebook’s top media man by summer, just months before Facebook’s anticipated 2012 initial public offering.

Current valuations of Facebook put the company at $65 billion. SecondMarket.com and SharePost.com have in recent weeks being increasing private sells of Facebook shares in advance of the anticipated IPO.

Facebook and Gibbs have refused to comment about the report in the New York Times today. In January, Gibbs told news about his departure to the private sector: “I will have an opportunity I hope to give some speeches. I will continue to provide advice and counsel to this building and to this President. And I look forward to continuing to do that.”

Earlier this month, Forbes released its annual Rich List, dominated with Facebook current and former executives. How much could Gibbs get? Don’t expect him to get Sean Parker-worth shares. As Facebook’s first President, he was played by Justin Timberlake in the film. Parker joined Facebook in 2004, but left the company one year later, with an astounding 4% stake now heading to a $2 billion valuation.

President Obama said the following of Gibbs’ return to the private sector ; “I think it’s natural for him to want to step back, reflect and retool. That brings up some challenges and opportunities for the White House – but it doesn’t change the important role that Robert will continue to play on our team.”

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