New York Magazine is asking today whether a FAST, a 5-day FAST, made actor Gwyenth Paltrow get sick fast!

And not just any fast, a “live food” fast.

Ewwww!

What the bejesus is live food?

“Gwyneth Paltrow was admitted to Mount Sinai yesterday with ailments unknown, Us Weekly is reporting. “She was slumped over in a wheelchair pushed by [husband] Chris Martin,” a witness told Us. “She looked not well.” However, Us also reported that later that evening a bag from Organic Avenue was delivered, which indicates that the actress is at least eating. Or is she? Like the virtual Woodward and Bernsteins we are, we called Organic Avenue to find out what was in the bag. “She’s doing our five-day live-food fast,” an employee told us.”

The New York Magazine continues. “Reaaaaaally, we drawled in our best gumshoe-detective voice. Could that be why she’s in the hospital, perhaps? The employee laughed like that was just crazy talk. Right, because whoever heard of anyone getting sick from not eating? “Oh, no,” she said. “She’s eating salads, there’s juices. There’s actually quite a bit of food there, it’s just all raw and organic.” And so our groundbreaking reporting reached a dubious but still satisfying conclusion. Because Gwyneth can’t actually be that sick if she’s still sticking to her diet.”