We got a lot of great reviews about this article last week. So we are reposting it for you again. Enjoy! 

(SARCASM. This post is sarcasm, not news. AKA if you can’t take a joke, don’t read it.) 

You know it’s just about time for October. And what does that mean? No, not Christmas items in Costco, that was September. It means it’s time to prepare for Halloween!

lalate news is only 4 weeks old. And in those 4 weeks, we’ve seen enough celebrity picture scandals, nude pics and flicks, fishnet stalkings, and fedex boxes at Rehab all to last us a lifetime.

So we’ve taken the best and worse, from Phil Spector’s hair, to Courtney Love’s horrible breasts, to O.J. Simpson’s “What you take in Vegas, stays in Vegas”, and put them all together and picked our FIVE top costume ideas for you this Halloween, if you are a guy, a girl, or Chris Crocker.

And wait til you see which costume won the top honors!

So without further delay, here is

#5. Rehab is the New Vegas

Another day doesn’t pass without Lindsay being photographed standing holding a Fedex box delivered to her at Rehab. Doesn’t it make you want to shout, “Um, Lindsay, what the hell is in the FEDEX BOX?! “

Costume for a Woman (or a tranny):

1. Shades
2. Blonde Wig
3. Jeans
4. Fedex box with the writing on it
“From: Malibu
To: Lindsay Lohan
Subject: Rehab Overnight Delivery. No Drugs. PROMISES!”
5. T shirt with the words “Rehab is the new Vegas.”

#4. Mr. and Mrs. Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson is being reported as married this week. Get out your surgical masks!

Costume for Woman and Man

1. One guy dressed as Michael
2. One dressed as a his wife
3. Each wear matching surgical masks that say “Just married”.

#3. Becky Look at Her Butt

We love Kim Kardashian. No, we ADORE her. But yes, some of our readers have questioned if her butt can actually get any bigger? Hence, our #3 pick on how big can Kim’s butt get!

Costume for a Skinny Girl with Inflatable Curves

Kim:
1. Black Wig
2. Beautiful Lips
3. T Shirt that says “Saints Rule!”
4. The biggest inflatable balloon you can hold in your dress as your behind.

Optional: joined by Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie who shout “oh my god becky, look at her butt!”
 

#2. I’ll Flash if you become my Fan Again

You know a lot of people have talked about Britney Spears’ fans walking away from her. But there is that darn crotch flash that comes on schedule regularly that makes you love Brit …. because she shaves so well.

Guys, you need to buy lalate a drink if hot girls wear this costume to your party.

Costume for a HOT (shaved) Girl (please girls, shave for this one).

1. Britney Spears Outfit
2. Blonde Wig
3. Pacifier in Mouth
4. No panties
5. High Rising Skirt
6. T shirt that says on front  “I’m Flash if you be my Fan”, back says ”K Fed Can’t Sing”

#1. Fishy Fishy

At this point, we thought, oh my, there are so many more choices. Enough to get to 2008! How about Vanessa Hudgens’ nude scandal? or Chris Crocker’s nude scandal? or not-Meg White’s nude scandal?

But instead we went with the easiest one. Probably the best costume of the year, maybe even the decade …. “Sorta Oscar De La Hoya”

This is probably going to be the biggest costume idea this year for guys that love to crossdress ONLY on Halloween! Yes, ONLY on Halloween, honest! 

For this costume, that friggen hilarious HAT is key! The fishnet is funny, but wtf is with the hat! We can’t look at the hat and not laugh!

Costume for a Guy (or a really, REALLY, butt ugly girl)

1. The hat
2. The fake hair
3. The stockings
4. The thong
5. The pink panty
6. The stocking
7. The wine glass
8. Heels

So what is lalate going to be for Halloween? Um, maybe we’ll just gain 100 lbs, dye our hair pink and be Perez.

Images as previously credited